Sex Life After 40: Everything You Need To Know
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Sex Life After 40: Everything You Need To Know

Lakshmi Devan
3 min read

Sex Life After 40: Everything You Need To Know

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Let people say what they will about being 40. Some of it is true, like how you must be more careful about your diet and lifestyle.

But one thing that I can promise you to be completely untrue is – that 40 is the end of sexual adventures. It is possible to have a healthy sex life after 40, with just a tiny bit of effort. What good thing in life comes without effort anyway?

The sex life after 40 for a man can be challenging, owing to a natural decline in testosterone that brings about other undesirable changes. Sex life after 40 for a woman can also be equally (if not more) nightmarish because of menopause. Click here to know about the things that stop women from being turned on. But like I said, these changes do not govern your life. 

Here is everything you need to know about sex life after 40 to stay one step ahead:

1. Accept the fact that sex life after 40 will never be like your 20s.

This is because now you have 10 times more responsibilities – mortgage on the house, EMIs for your daughters’ new laptops, school and college fees, hospital bills… the list goes on.   

Sex Life After 40

2. Still, focus on the bright side.

Do you want to know what keeps passion alive between long-term couples? It is not that their lives are perfect. It is that they make time for each other no matter what. In the 40s, your children have grown up enough to not need your attention every waking minute. So, instead of hurrying to sneak in a quickie while they are asleep, you can now book a weekend getaway and soak in the bath while sipping cold Chardonnay. Rediscover your passion and revel in mutual and complete gratification.

3. Acknowledge the potential roadblocks and work through it together.

Sure, you don’t get an erection or get wet with passion at the drop of a hat. But that’s totally no big deal! Deal with the problem by indulging in loads of foreplay. This will give you both the time to relax and be aroused. Remember, there’s no rush. 

4. Get brave.

This is your time to experiment. Dildos, vibrations, anal plugs, penile rings – the possibilities, as they say, are endless. Do what it takes to feel alive with heated passion again. 

Sex Life After 40

5. Spend more time on foreplay.

If you want a healthy sex life after 40, then you are going to have to indulge in hours of foreplay, knowing that it might not go any further. The ultimate goal is to satisfy your partner. So, be selfless. Click here to know the 7 natural ways to last longer in bed.

6. Don’t ignore lubricants.

One of the biggest sexual changes after 40 that women experience is vaginal dryness. This coincides with the dramatic decrease in oestrogen levels, making the walls of the vagina dry and sore. Therefore, if you never needed lubricants before, it is time to reconsider. Click here to read more about the condition and how you could find relief.

7. Stay spontaneous and experiment.

While routine gives a feeling of stability, too much of it may just become mundane. So, once in a while, jump your partner and demand a quick love-making session. Give each other a massage and let that evolve into naughty time. Plan surprise dates and just spend more and more intimate time together, even if it doesn’t necessarily involve you having sex.

Sex Life After 40

8. Don’t let your lifestyle and diet go down the drain.

What you eat and how much you exercise have a major influence on the extent of sexual changes after 40 that you will experience. There is tons of scientific evidence to support the fact. So, even if you don’t follow a strict regimen (and you really don’t have to), just be sure to pay a little more attention to your body and its health than you did maybe 20 years ago. Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, an easily achievable 30 minutes of exercise every day, and ample fluids in your system should take you a long way, when it comes to sex. Bonus advice: Try these yoga poses

9. Lastly, let go of any misconceptions and prejudice

you may have about medical solutions to sexual problems. It is natural to face troubles with erections or lubrication after 40. Evolutionarily, it makes sense for the body to not stay in top shape for intercourse since the reproductive age is over. But that doesn’t mean that you have to surrender. Consult a specialist and seek help without a second thought, if that’s what makes sense for your relationship. Mind you, sex isn’t the be all and end all of a marriage. Many couples consciously, slowly drift away from sex once they hit 40 and explore a deeper, more intimate form of eroticism.  And that’s great too. 

At the end of the day, only YOU have the right to decide what you want from your relationship. So, sit down and have a heart-to-heart. Change is not easy, but when you’ve got your partner on your side – you can achieve the bliss you deserve, even if a rock hard erection is not involved. Only love matters.

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